my slides for the application that is due on sunday are lost. supposedly they were delivered here, but they are not here. what the fuck. my first two tries for recommendation letters failed, i have one on its way, but what the fuck is it for if i dont have slides to go with it? i have no patience to make myself crazy running all over the city to get slides made last minute. i just dont. its my fault anyway, cause i always wait til the last minute to do these things, and then when they get fucked up theres no time to regroup. really, i like it when situations get out of my control cause i dont have to actually make any decisions. theyre made for me. and thats a lazy way to live.
i still havent gotten 30 hrs a week at my job #1, which is annoying. what i need right now is security. i dont feel like i have it in any way. except i have a room in a house. that i want to move out of. but.... moving is too stressful to think about. at least i can feed myself and house myself. i should be thankful for that. i have so much more than so many other people. so i should shut up, now.